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WEBWATCH with Scrollin D. Webb ‘Gorgeous' Babe cut very ugly >Did Babe Ruth sign every book published in the 1930s? Get me the Library of Congress. Or how 'bout hooking me up with a used book store? I bet the Babe penned his name in all of these books. Wait, here's a cookbook from the 1930s. I bet Babe would have eagerly written his name in this. Oh, here's a Farmer's Almanac. The owner of this tome probably waited for George to visit his town so he could get the dust jacket or the rain report signed. Well, I'm checking out what the consignor calls a "gorgeous" Babe Ruth cut signature. "It is cut from what appears to be . . . a book from the 1930s," he states. Well, I'd like to know how books from the '30s "appeared" to be different from, say, books from the '40s. Maybe this publisher was still using sheepskin for pages. The consignor, who stated that his record on eBay was impeccable, but he was giving Yahoo!Auctions a shot, assured us that the numbered "embossed COA" made the signature good, and it was guaranteed for life. No telling who issued the COA, but since it is "embossed" you can rest assured that this thing is real. Not! Now, look. I haven't even begun talking about the actual signature yet, but how anyone could roll the proverbial dice and bid on this "gorgeous" Ruth signature is beyond my imagination. Yet, four of you morons went bargain hunting and are poised with a night's sleep left on the bidding to buy this thing for at least $350. Well, I've got news for you. Aunt Babe Ruth or Uncle Babe Ruth signed this book page, not the baseball player Babe Ruth. This is not even a mediocre forgery. The "e" in Babe and "R" in Ruth are shameful attempts at the real thing. The ink flow on this sucker looks like it rolled of a felt tip pen, medium thickness. Get real. ‘Odd Couple' great flick, funnier ball Item 438758111 on eBay goes down as the king of all-time bizarre odd couples bogus-signed baseballs. Take a bow. Watch the "applause" sign and put your hands together. The seller of this ball tells us that he just picked up this ball from an estate sale and confessed how he didn't have time for an "expert" to look at it, "so I am selling it with a money back guarantee." He just rushed in. I can hear the screen door slamming behind or the garage door closing. What's all the excitement? Well, it must have been that the ball was more beat up than President Clinton, and the sigs were badly faded. Now get this. Not only are there badly faded signatures of Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig — no way they're real — but the other two are also badly faded "ball point pin" (sic) signatures of Ernie Banks and Billy Williams. That's right. Mr. Cub and . . . uh, Mr. Williams, the best slugging Cub outfielder before Sammy. I've heard of Ruth balls subsequently signed by Hank Aaron. I've heard of someone taking a spare Ruth item and, over the years, adding the signatures of 500 Home Run Club members, but I've never heard of any possible reason or scenario for anyone with a ball purportedly signed by Babe and Lou to be signed by Ernie and Billy. I wish I could call up Ernie and Billy and ask them if they remember signing such a ball. For there is no doubt that if they were ever faced with such an opportunity, they would most certainly remember it. In fact, let's just say that this would have to be one of the highlights of their great careers. There must be a place where forgers take vintage balls that they use for practice. You know, kinda like target practice, except for forgers instead of marksmen. This ball has to be one of those. Either that or these four fellas, Ruth, Gehrig, Banks and Williams, weren't the baseball players, but the other Ruth, Gehrig, Banks and Williams, the famous, let's see, pool cleaners. I know those boys. Or maybe Uncle Jimmy was getting ready to take his son to a Cubs game during the late '60s, and before the two of them grabbed their jackets and headed to Wrigley, he said, "Wait, son, let me grab that Ruth/Gehrig ball and we'll get Ernie Banks and Billy Williams to sign it." Yeah, that's it. I bet that's what happened. I used to think that eBay and other auction sites should police its site to make sure stuff like this stayed off the web. I've changed my mind. Examples like this one are so incredible, I think there should be more listings like this just for the entertainment. By the way with 1 day and 6 hours to go, the bid is $152.50. 'Says here "reserve not yet met." No kidding. This thing's priceless. You Can't Own Everything! Are you itching like a flea-bitten dog to buy a sig by Ruth, Gehrig, Foxx, Cobb, Mathewson, Wagner, Young, Hornsby or Ott? Here's our advice. Do not buy these on the Internet. These fellas are among the most forged guys out there. Same goes for today's studs, guys like Jordan, Gretzky, McGwire, Joe Montana, Sammy Sosa, Jeff Gordon, Kobe Bryant, Steve Young and Grant Hill. For the latter breathing athletes just wait till these guys are chauffered to a show and pay your jack. And if they don't do shows and you're not absolutely sure that what you're buying is real, then tough freakin' beans. Live without it. You are a collector. You may have a nice shrine at your crib or at your cubicle at work. Maybe you kneel and pray to it five times a day, but remember this: You are not building the Louvre. The Louvre doesn't buy fake Renoirs just so it can say it has one. The Metropolitan Museum of Art does not buy fake Picassos just so it can say it has one. You can't own everything. Make sure what you own is special and real. If you're dying to throw away your jack on something bogus, give thos benjamins to a food bank or a disaster relief fund. Don't buy some pathetic looking Christy Mathewson sig. The situation is getting so ridiculous. I'm going to suggest to editor Kaufman that we print up T-shirts that say, "I have an idiot friend who spent thousands on a fake Babe Ruth signature." Might as well let the world know that you're a dope and that you have friends who'll scratch themselves like a mutt to own a Ruth or Gehrig sig. Expose Thyself Pardon me for being a little hypocritical, but if you're going to promote an item as having a "forensic COA," please instill more confidence in the buyer by naming this great authority. Okay, I don't give my real name, so I'm a chump, but I'm also not trying to sell something fake, so back atcha. The reason I bring this up is I'm looking at an item from a guy from Long Island who's attempting to sell a Joe D ball, with #5 added. Says here: "This forensic COA states the autograph was signed in front of the forensic examiner! The next best thing to watching him sign it yourself. You cannot get more authentic than that!" Oh freakin' yeah? Well, consider this. This "full" description leaves open the possibility that the ball was forged in front of the unnamed examiner. At least a photograph of the item is shown, and there are similarities between this autograph and Joe D's I'm accostomed to seeing, but I still wouldn't bid on it. So far, no one else has either. Joe D signed in very controlled situations. If you can't offer provenance, then you will likely hear from Mo Engelberg, Joe D's long-time attorney. First YAAFI Award Here's an item on auction.com that, thankfully, has no bids
on it. It's a Mickey Mantel (sic) autographed baseball. The seller
from Boca Raton, Fla., apparently is looking for a $90 bid just
to get things rolling. The symbol next to it suggests $90 is within
15 percent of the reserve price. Under the full description,
there is no photo of this William White National League baseball
purportedly signed by Mickey Mantel (sic). Now I was willing
to cut this seller some slack for the first misspelling, but
not the second, third and fourth. I know you don't have to win
a spelling bee to sell your memorabilia, and it doesn't mean
that a description with misspellings is necessarily bad, but
let's see, misspelled name. Yeah, that's enough for me to pass
on this orb. That's strike one. Here's strike two. Did someone
really get a Bill White NL ball and think it would really be
cool to have a life-long American Leaguer sign it? I bet some
numbskull thought, "Gee, let's get the greatest switch-hitting
slugger in the AL, if not all of baseball, to sign an NL ball.
We're the only geniuses on earth who'll have such a sphere. We'll make a fortune and get granny out of debt." See something suspicious or really stupid on a web auction or elsewhere in cyberspace? Send me an email at www.info@sweetspotnews.com. |